Not sure if this is the answer you are looking for but you asked --
Personally I would reject the idea out of hand. The Totems sacrificed themselves becoming little more than mindless brutes to save their people. Making them do tricks is both demeaning to their stature in the eyes of their followers as outlined in the fluff and cheesy with regard to game mechanics. Just my opinion.
@Topkick--I like the mindless brute theory. It is a good way to explain why they could not do this. I do like Troy's idea about the keeper though, its a nice middle ground, but it would still have to be tested to see if to overbalancing.
Now as far a demeaning goes......how demeaning is it to drive your living God at your enimies with a GOADING SPEAR? From the fluff, I have always taken it that most if not all the Totems on the battlefield these days are former Keepers that have gone "native", IMHO. Even then, to use one of your own, who dedicated his/her life to taking care of the Gods and in the process losing all self by turning into Totems themselves, isn't very nice either. I just tell myself that this is something they knew and accepted when they took the job.
Now as far as "Cheesy" goes.....I have found in my 30 years of strategy/RPG/boardgames that the difference between "cheesy" and "good tactics" often depends on which side of the board you are sitting on. Now, I'm not saying that to save my argument, but because in my experience its "generally" true. Take for instance the afore mentioned Sky Chariot. I have a player that just blatantly refuses to defend if the opponent has SKy Chariot. I mean, how "balanced" is it that a lotus eater can drop an unactivated warband behind your lines and not even have to have LOS? Now I don't get to upset about this myself, although there should be LOS to the target area,IMO, but I can live with it. NOw, on the other hand troy-the-just would probably argue the complete opposite on the subject, as he plays CL and loves the spell. As in most things perspective is everything.
THe reasons I asked this question were for many of the same reasons you give for nah-saying it. I am deeply committed to being fair. I wanted different perspectives on the subject to "check" myself. I have yet to find a game where every base has been covered. Its almost impossible to playtest every tactic concievable in a game, which is why there are several editions to most games, ours included. I also ask these questions so that any new players to the game, or those who are coming back to the fold, will know ahead of time, and possibly save some argument.
I sincerely hope this does not come off to harsh Topkick, I have great respect for our forum members, even if we don't see eye to eye all the time. I am just trying to express my opinion in a clear way.