Damn I wished I lived closer. If I did you would both be receiving this letter.
Dear Sirs:
It has come to the attention of the Cartel that a territorial dispute is about to erupt into armed conflict. The Cartel discourages these types of action unless all other forms of resoulution have failed. Therefore I invite you both to send representatives with appropriate honor guards to meet at a mutually agreeable location in an attempt to resolve this issue.
Sincerely,
Sardonacus the Litigator
Sardonacus,
I know the good Kaptain.... and I am willing to be he told you to go sh*t in your hat. No... As much as I would like to resolve this in a boardroom or around a table playing New Texas Hold'em, McGee has a burr under his armor.
No biggie... I'll just have to help fix that problem.
And its a problem several doses of 7.62mm medicine can cure. Of this I am certain. Besides... that bastard owes me a case of his plantation's cigars. About the only way I'm going to get them is if I take it off of his hide.
Your's Truly,
Senior Colonel John "Archer" Tinney
CO, 3/32 Infantry Battaion, 1st Brigade, 1st Infantry
Capitol Armed Forces
(ooc: Top, you can always drive out this way- you really are not that far from me)